Lessons learned

Hello friends,

I just wanted to share with you some "real" moments.  Recently, we embarked on a trip to see our families.  The main reason was that I volunteered to preach my aunt's funeral service.  But along the way, we got to see my son Austin, my family, and Michelle's family.  And I am learning some things about myself during this trip.

1.  Seeing family members after a long time is like a cool drink of water at the end of the Mojave Desert.  It reminds me that I am loved no matter what and that helps me to see God's goodness in trying times.

2.  My will to succeed with this diet is stronger than the pull of Grandma's cookie plate.  Having extra motivation to lose weight has been a huge help in my battle to lose weight.  Traveling has afforded me the opportunities to eat terrible things but they don't have quite the pull on me anymore.  Thank God for this gift of His.

3.  When I am on my emotional yo-yo, my family suffers.  Not having a job is one of the hardest things to go through for me.  I have been terribly depressed at times as I have received numerous rejection notifications for jobs that I would do well at and enjoy.  It's hard to explain how helpless I have felt in all of this.  But this attitude of mine has cost my family some of the joy that this trip could have provided for them.  I am learning how my selfishness and my distrust in the Lord can cloud over His goodness. 

4.  I have an amazing wife!  This simply cannot be discounted in helping me to go on day by day.  She has grown in the area of mercy so much and God has used that to speak of Himself through her.  The mood that my wife sees on my face as I struggle to find meaning and work and a new career is met by her graceful elegance and tender words of hope. 

5.  My children are the best gifts money can't buy!  Some people see kids as such a burden.  But when you see your daughters asking their grandmother questions about God, and your son pull his first fish from a pond, and your baby squeal with delight from being flipped, it makes you feel sorry for those who were fooled into not having more children because of the materialism of the world.  Even in unemployment, my God is faithful to provide for the blessings He has given me.

6.  Jesus is ever so faithful and good even as I falter.  Oh, the joy to know that my salvation depends not on me, but on Him. 

He must shake His head as He watches my sinful heart worry. 

He sends my son a fish on his first time fishing.  It tells me, "I will provide." 

He sends family members and former neighbors who have lost a loved one to share their love for my aunt.  It tells me, "I will comfort." 

He sends a wife that pursues a distant and distraught husband instead of leaving me to my wallowing misery.  It tells me, "I will never leave you and never forsake you." 

He sends me, my wife and kids to the restaurant across the street from the college my wife and I fell in love at, and we eat at the same booth we did 13 years ago, but with 4 more additions.  It tells me, "I remember." 

He sends me His Word.  It tells me, "I am not silent." 

He sends me His Spirit.  It tells me, "I guide." 

He sends me His Son.  It tells me, "I love." 

Please keep praying for me friends.  My inclination has been to ask you to pray first for a job, but maybe it's more about the journey for me.  Pray that I would learn to joyfully trust Him and that God would be glorified in my attitude.  The rest, He will provide.

And don't forget to pray for Peyton and the Wilson's.  I want to see a miracle happen!

In Christ,
Jay